Weight Loss - The Journey Towards The Impossible.

For the next two weeks I am going to focus my blogs around healthy living. It’s something that I’ve tried to do for the last few months but hasn’t been going too well if I’m going to be honest.

Weight Loss. It sounds so easy, just two simple words and yet the reality is so much more complicated. Yes some may be blessed with a fast metabolism - the ability to stay thin no matter how many pies they eat - however like me, most people aren’t. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of these people, the people who have no idea what it’s like to actually be overweight.

But that’s not right. 

Of course these people know what it’s like. Yes there may be a medical definition of being overweight; however in reality it is different for everyone. Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time since Christmas and according to the NHS ‘BMI Healthy Weight Calculator’, I am perfectly in the middle of the ‘Healthy Weight’ bracket. Part of me appreciates this, I am ‘healthy’, but the rest... I’m not happy.

I look at myself in the mirror and I feel nothing but disgust. My belly sticks out, I have a muffin top, my boobs are too small, my legs are too wobbly, stretch marks galore and I’ve lost count of how many chins I have. 

What I’m trying to get across is that a number on the scales does not mean shit. 

Everyone sees themselves differently and everyone can see flaws in their body image. No amount of healthy eating or exercise or motivation boards will stop this. It may help you feel better about these flaws and may even remove some of them, but it will never erase them all.

Everyone goes on about how the media influences the way we see ourselves, and to some extent it does. I see beautiful actresses plastered across glossy pages every single day, flat stomach’s and not a single stretch mark to be seen. Yeah Photoshop is playing a big part in this but there is more. That celebrity is paying ridiculous amounts of money for a personal trainer to shout at them every day, they might have had surgery or new age treatments to tighten their skin and that’s just it; I cannot access things like that. I can’t afford any of it. Despite their fame they are still human, they still have the same problems as you and I, an obsession with appearance and relentlessly striving for perfection. 

Sorry to disappoint but there is no such thing as perfection. There is no light at the end of the tunnel because the final destination does not exist.

I got my stretch marks during puberty, not through weight gain but through natural growth, they will fade but unfortunately I can’t do anything to get rid of them. I’m trying to get rid of excess fat but it exists in the places where it is hardest to shift. My boobs, well that’s a gene thing (thanks a lot mum) and maybe my chins will be less visible if I smile more.  When I am confident in my own body then I can say that I am happy being imperfect.

Many of you won’t get anything out of this blog post. All I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter if you are stick thin or a little bit chubby, visual appearance is only one tiny part of you. You have so much more going for you to matter what other people think. Me, I’m going to be a journalist and couldn’t give a flying fudge about anything people say against me... It’s what I think that matters. At the moment I have a long way to go until I am happy with the way I look, but I hope that it will happen one day.

Don't compare yourself to other people you are you for a reason. If there is such thing as perfection, then your individuality and uniqueness comes the closest to being it. 

I’ll leave you with a rather appropriate quote from the exceptionally beautiful (inside and out) Kate Winslet :)

‘As a young girl, I never felt attractive. I was fat and unhappy at times, and that kind of thinking stays with you your entire life. There's always going to be a part of me that worries about not looking as slim as other actresses. But at a certain point, when you achieve a lot of your goals and you can be proud of your work, you start to relax more about who you are. And that includes your appearance and self-image – I don't think I look too bad for a mother of two. But women shouldn't have to feel the pressure to compare themselves to actresses or models.’