Contacting me :)

Hello People :)

This is not going to be a nicely structured post so I apologise for my lack of wit and whimsy that you usually find (haha...not).

As a spare of the moment idea, I thought that it would be good to share my social media platforms with you. It's especially important as I will be wanting to inform you of my progress as I prepare for my run in September (read more about that here) and obviously I also want to increase the number of viewers for this blog, just so I can bless the rest of the world with my ramblings :)

Check out the links below and follow, subscribe, like and share to your heart's content.

Twitter

From my live tweeting of The Walking Dead to my general complaints about life, this is not one to be missed.

Journalism Now

Just in case you wanted to see what I do at uni.

Just Giving

Here's a place where you kind hearted and generous people can sponsor me for my 27 mile run.

You Tube

There's currently nothing on this page but I'll start uploading podcasts on here soon

Email: sharkyspn@googlemail.com

For any questions, 'who would win in a fight between..' debates or if you just need a chat :)

Why I hate Valentine's Day.

Before I fully begin my rant, I just want to clarify that I'm not one of those bitter singles who's mission is to attack anyone and everyone who is in a relationship. I'd say that at least 75% of the people I know are in some sort of a relationship and to be perfectly honest, I don't care! As long as you being in a loved  up nest of ickyness doesn't affect our friendship, and that I'm not subjected to witnessing awkward sessions of face-eating, then hey do what you want.

I don't hate on couples (although sometimes there are pangs of jealousy)...I just despise the whole concept of Valentine's Day.

It is a terrible day for everyone, singleton's and couples alike... and don't get me started on those poor souls who are hanging in the friendzone (don't send a card to your crush people, it will only end in tears).

For singles like me, it is a depressing reminder that you are yet to find that 'special someone' (ew) and it's really not a fun feeling because you can't escape it at all :( As soon as Christmas is over, shops are littered with overpriced boxes of chocolate and you are stunned to find that everything has been drenched with sickly shades of pink or passionate throws of red.
 Dare you go near a jewellery shop, for everything that you once admired has been replaced with hearts and diamonds and rubies, beautifully gift wrapped with rose petals and confetti.
I challenge anyone to find some sensible underwear during this time without being faced with a shocking array of garters, suspenders, teeny weeny pieces of material that are passed as panties and bras that are so heavily decorated with lace and beads that I'm surprised anyone finds them comfortable. The same applies for pyjamas; don't expect to be finding a modest shorts set... nope, instead why don't you try the 'sheer open-front feather-lined camisole' that LITERALLY COVERS NOTHING and comes with a hefty price tag of £35!!
If you want to go anywhere on this awful day, think again unless the prospect of drowning in a sea of meals for two seems pleasurable. Or if you fancy sitting alone in the cinema while everyone else is scattered around in annoying sets of even numbers, be my guest,  just don't run to me when the tidal wave of loneliness smacks into you.

Although it's obviously going to be a bad time for singles, I honestly think that it's worse for couples. Speaking from experience, I actually think this is a specific occasion where guys have it worse (cue the flaming bras being hurled in my direction). Sorry girls, but most of us have high expectations and they tend to revolve around the gift giving aspect. A dozen red roses may be romantic but its not exactly original is it? (I don't like flowers in general...leave the poor things in the ground!) A box of chocolates is also pleasant but where is the thought in that? (Just for the record, give me a bag of Magic Stars and I'm pretty much yours).
Nowadays gift expectations lay around the 'diamond necklace' end of the spectrum, with some settling for a day out or some ridiculously priced lingerie.
A day out, I think, is a brilliant idea... here you are spending actual quality time together and not just passing for two people staring at each other across a table. It's out in public but you have your own space, unlike a restaurant where candlelit tables are so tightly packed together its bound to be a fire hazard.
Don't even get me started on underwear as a gift... men buy women lingerie with the expectation that after dinner they will ultimately go home and have boring, conventional sex. But here's the thing, I've known women to buy lingerie for themselves in order to skimp on the gift and just offer sex as the present!! Seriously, where are the feminists when you need them, because that's just disgusting!

At the end of the day, Valentine's Day is set aside to make singleton's feel lonely and put couples under pressure. It is a fake holiday, spawned by greedy consumerism and egged on by corporations that dangle diamonds and cards and vomit-worthy merchandise in front of the public eye. Since when did two people need a labelled day of the year to celebrate their feelings towards each other (cheesy much?) and have to fork out a considerable sum of money in order to prove it?
Actions like these should be spontaneous... not forced through a codified ritual each year!!

 

Well that's all the time I can be bothered to spend on this stupid subject, but I sincerely hope that your Valentine's Day isn't disappointing. My day... well if any of you can remember that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary, where Bridget is curled up on the couch, drinking wine in her pyjamas and performing a out-of-tune rendition of "All By Myself"... yep, that will be me.

 

Flappy Bird ... Do I have to say more?

A game implies fun... so Flappy Bird must be classed as an anti-game because the little orange bird evokes nothing but pure rage.

Are you sitting on a train?
Have a quick glance around. Do you see people intently staring at their phones, muttering profanities under their breath with their exhausted bloodshot eyes unblinking as they abuse their screens with constant tapping?
Have any of them burst into tears and hurled their phones across the carriage?
Yep, they're playing Flappy Bird.

For those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the game; you are in control of a podgy bird (with a transfixed psychotic stare and wings that are in no way big enough to allow flight). Tap the screen once and the bird soars into the air, leave the screen alone and the annoying creature will take a nose dive. The bird lives in a Mario-esque world of pipes, and it's your job to navigate through the gaps between them... if you miss the gap you die.

Sounds simple?
No...no it really is not. It's impossible.

There is no way to form a constant method with this stupid thing. Should you aim for the bottom of the pipe?- nope crashed. Should you double tap?- NO! This is madness, never ever double tap...it will only end in tears. It has little to do with reactions but is 99% down to sheer luck.
My average score is about six, but I am super proud of my high score of 47... and that was only achieved through relentless determination to beat my flatmate's record (he has 50). As a quick mention, I call complete BS on players who claim to have 1000 points and above :/

I hate Flappy Bird, all I want to do is find its nest and set fire to it...and yet I cant bring myself to delete it. It may be the smartest game ever made as it is so incomprehensibly frustrating that you are compelled to keep playing it. I don't remember who told me to download the poisonous entity which is Flappy Bird, but when I do I will find them and I will kill them.

Flappy Bird at the end of the day is a terrible game, it enters the 'it's so bad it's good' category. Soon we will all have bird phobias, lumbering down the street like zombies ,our thumbs permanently tapping and drowning in a sea of nervous breakdowns... all because of a poxy free download.